NAME: Number Twenty-Three
OCCUPATION: Test Monkey
LIKES: Monkey treats, quitting time and a nice bowl of bread pudding.
DISLIKES: Electroshock, cavity searches and genital mutilation.
DIAGNOSIS: Subject shows paranoid tendancies in addition to a general world-weary manner.
ACTION: Increase electroshock, mutilate genitals.

NAME: The Lab Rat
OCCUPATION: Uh, lab rat.
LIKES: "The Ladies", talking about feces, screaming non sequiturs.
DISLIKES: The killing of his wife and children, when people trick him into thinking they're sexy ladies.
DIAGNOSIS: Subject has clearly lost his mind, possibly due to loss of family. Also shows signs of an extreme sexual identity crisis.
ACTION: Force-feed more LSD to rectify mental state before proceeding with further testing.

NAME: Number Twenty-Four (or, "The Clone")
OCCUPATION: Test Subject in Cloning Experiment
LIKES: #23's sweet, tight ass and sensual lips. Likes to listen to classical music during masturbation.
DISLIKES: Competition.
DIAGNOSIS: Subject shows a disturbing sexual attraction to host body (Number 23)
ACTION: Nature magazines, and plenty of them.

NAME: Unnecessary Exploratory Surgery Puppy
OCCUPATION: Test Subject for Bored Scientists
LIKES: Staring blankly into space.
DISLIKES: People interrupting his staring.
DIAGNOSIS: Brain damage, possible retardation.
ACTION: Fiddle with brain some more... and look for the ham sandwich I dropped in there.

NAME: Bleeding-Eyes Bunny
OCCUPATION: Test Subject for Irritants
LIKES: Work, doing a good job and feeling like he's accomplished something at the end of the day.
DISLIKES: Poor work ethics.
DIAGNOSIS: Subject seems to take a puzzling amount of pride in his work.
ACTION: Start him on the corrosive acids Monday.

NAME: The Ass-Worm
OCCUPATION: None. Rectal tenant of Lab Rat.
LIKES: Eating poop, hanging out.
DISLIKES: Enemas, large birds and toilet paper. DIAGNOSIS: None yet.
ACTION: Subject does not interfere with Lab Rat tests, thus ignore.